a load of nonsense
by Moonlight Enchantments
Summary: I was bored when I wrote this, so it's probably crap. But R&R anyway, as long as your kind! It's a parody sorta of Sweep
1. episode 1

A/N ok hello, I'm bored and yes I thought oh lets start a new story, anonsense one this time (the pentacle is kinda serious) so yeah err, well it's kinda crap,but oh well, RR

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Characters: Morgan, Hunter, Sky, Bree, Cal, Robbie, Mary.K and Alisa

Setting: err well a mixture of places,

_Ok, first we are in a cow-boy style village (all ye olde weste) Cal and Hunter and facing each other, _

Hunter: _chewing a toothpick _there ain't room in this town for the both of us,

Cal: vell I von't be zee vun to leave! _He pulls out a gun_

Hunter: why've you got a weird foreign accent?

Cal: (whispering) shut up and play along, (speaks up) Vell brother of mine, you vill die! Today

Morgan runs on in a big dress and a blonde wig 

Morgan: (in a squeaky voice) sirs, please don't fight over lil old me, I don't want blood shed over me!

Hunter: you? We weren't fighting over you, its Bree, gorgeous Bree we want!

_Morgan screams and sits up in bed, _

Morgan: that was a crap dream, ahhhhhh school, noooooooooo 

_On the coven steps, the whole gang is there, including Hunter and Sky, which is weird as they don't even go to this school, _

Sky: Vade sempre dritto, e giri a destra! 

Morgan: (_who is just coming in)_ why is she giving directions in Italian?

Robbie: (who's green from a spell Morgan put on him) well she's going on holiday to Cuba soon, you know that Morgan,

Bree: don't they speak Spanish in Cuba?

All: shut-up Bree you know you're not clever, you're just there to look pretty,

_Mary. K runs in, wearing a pink bow and a bib, and carrying a bottle,_

Alisa: what are you wearing? 

Mary.k: I don't know I just found myself wearing this, someone must have put a spell on me without me knowing!

All gasp then look at Morgan Morgan: what why you all looking at me? Hunter defend me! 

_Hunter touches the bald patches on his head where Morgan gave him some shampoo that was actually spelled_

Hunter: sorry but I can't you're always behind it when things go wrong 

Morgan: maybe it was cal!

Cal: what? Me? _He hides his book behind his back_

Morgan: yeah, what's that book? 

Cal: er, nothing

_Hunter jumps on him, after flying through the air in a karate style way, he grabs the book, and reads the title_

Hunter: aha, it's the idiots guide to evil spells,

All gasp

Hunter: yes it's what we suspected all along, Cal is an idiot!

All groan

Sky: this actually means that Cal was probably behind Mary.K's spell

Bree: but Cal's getting away!

All: shut up Bree,

Cal sneaks to the door, unnoticed then lets out an evil laugh 

Cal mwa hahaha, oops,

_Robbie and hunter grab him,_

Mary.k: lets strip him of his powers! 

They all laugh

Mary.k: what? Oh I'm still wearing the baby gear aren't I?


	2. episode 2

A/N well well well I never thought I would be here, updating a load of nonsense, but if its what you want I'll give it you, 'cause I love you's all so much, Lol! So to my reviewers: Raynornlimegreen and Rhiannan Star this is for you!

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Ok we start in the old cemetery place with loads of power, and the guys are having a circle.

Hunter: ok everyone into the square,

All: huh. Square?

Hunter: well I didn't see why it has to be a circle,

Bree: well because…

Morgan: shut up Bree, hunter's right, wicca is all about being free, so we have the choice to be free to choose what shape our circle is

Bree: (muttering) that doesn't even make sense, stupid

Robbie: aw don't worry sweetie, we all know Morgan is cleverer than you, don't worry you're the pretty one!

Morgan: hey! _She shoots green silly string from her eyes and Robbie gets tangled_

Robbie: (lying on the floor) ah help, I can't get up,

Alissa: hahaha, you look like a turtle!

_All look in confusion at Alissa,_

Alissa: you know, once they are on their backs they can't get up!

All: ohhhhhh hahaha (lots of laughing)

Hunter: lets get back to the square. Now today we are going to go to the moon! On a rainbow!

(A chorus of cheers)

Bree: you can't do that that's impossible!

All: just shut up Bree!

Hunter: ok, hocusly pocusly, I call upon rainbowbright, the rainbow goddess to make us a rainbow so we can travel to the moon, by the power of her horse, starlight, so mote it be!

(At the last words, a rainbow appeared, in the form of moving escalators,)

Hunter: come on everyone, up to the moon!

Mary.k: wow this is amazing, like a cartoon, I love Wicca!

Morgan: what, but Wicca is my rebellion thing, that's not fair, hunter, tell her she's not allowed to be into Wicca! (Goes and sits in a corner of the square in a sulk)

Hunter: Morgan, just get here, I mean you did bring mary.k, so you should have guessed it was because she wanted to join in, so lets go to the moon!

(All get on the escalator, up to the moon)

At the moon:

Sky: (speaking all slow) w…o…w… this… i…s ama…sin…g

Hunter: why are you speaking like that?

Sky: to give it more effect! Stupid!

Bree: (gaping like a fish) I… what?

Cal: (jumping out from behind a boulder,) mwa haha (evil laugh) I have cut your escalator, you'll never get back to earth now!

Morgan: well how are you getting back?

Cal: in my spaceship!

Alissa: (from inside the spaceship) this spaceship?

Cal: yes that… oh no, (while he was talking the gang all run onto the spaceship, except hunter, who was tying his shoelace at the time)

The spaceship blasts off leaving hunter and cal on the moon

Inside the spaceship:

Morgan: no hunter, no I can't live without him!

Bree: (still gaping like a fish) I just… it makes no sense

All: shut up Bree!

Mary. K: I know, lets do a transportation spell,

(They all sit in a square chanting)

All: jello pops ice cream and chips, bring hunter to us now, so mote it be

Suddenly hunter appears, but there is a problem, he is upside down!

Morgan: oh no we did the spell wrong, we've ruined my muirn beatha dan! What are we going to do?

Bree: just turn him round!

All: what have we told you Bree, you are there to look pretty, don't talk!

Alissa: I have an idea, but it might be quite dangerous, let's turn him over!

Hunter: please do something, soon, I can feel my blood rushing to my head!

Alissa: ok, you pick him up, yes like that (after 1 long minute they manage to put hunter the right way)

All cheer loudly

Bree: (muttering) well it's not like I already said that!

Sky: now who knows who to land this thing

All laugh

Sky: I'm being serious, we're coming into land now, what do we do?

All laugh again

Morgan: you're so funny sky!

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A/N ok wow this episode was long, did you weirdo's like it? Lol read and review please, oh wait you've already read it so just review, or read it again! 


	3. episode 3

A/N ok well no your aren't weirdo's and I love you for reviewing, I liked the 2nd episode much more than the 1st one! But anyway, I'm a little sad because no-one has reviewed my main story (boohoo) so my creative funniness may not flow as well today, so anyway thanks for reviewing, love you's! Hehe

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Setting: in school in a classroom, all the characters are there even though they are different ages,

Teacher: well class, copy this down please

Alissa: school is so boring, I wish some dark wave would come so we could fight it, I mean ah no I didn't mean that (she jumps up, then hides under the desk, as do the rest of the gang)

Teacher: get up now! (The old woman (who is the teacher) goes over to hunters desk and pulls him out by the ears, lifting him over her head, which is a strange feat for an old woman to be able to do) you aren't even in my class! Do you even come to this school?

Hunter: ow, no mam I don't but I wish to learn so much, (he suddenly has a cockney accent) please miss, I love to learn so much, please can I have some more learning

Teacher: very well, but I want you to stop kissing my best pupil please, Morgan please stop hiding under the desk! (The gang crawls out from under the desks)

Suddenly cal runs in, laughing evilly,

Cal: I have found a spell that will make you all dance constantly, you won't be able to stop hahahahahahaha

Bree: but you were stuck on the moon last episode? That's just…

All: shut up Bree!

Sky: you know this isn't a soap, we don't have continuous storylines!

Cal: excuse me, can we please get back to my spell, now all cower in fear while I cast this, falala and twit too my loo, dancing queens and has beens jumpy-dee-jump and dance non-stop! (At the last words everyone starts dancing, including cal and the teacher)

Hunter: (while dancing the jive with Morgan) oh no I thought he was bluffing, he isn't that good at spells!

Cal: (doing a jig, and in a Scottish accent) excuse me, I am brilliant at spells!

Mary.k: not at accents though!

All: mary.k! You're not dancing!

Bree: well maybe its because…

Alissa: (interrupting her) obviously its because she has already had 5 spells cast on her by cal and everyone knows that's the maximum of spells someone can cast in a year!

Morgan: don't be stupid Alissa, its because she wasn't in the room, she went to the bathroom before!

Bree: (muttering) that's what I was going to say!

Sky: hey, we've stopped dancing,

Cal: (who had been creeping towards the door) oh well that's because someone uncontaminated entered the room, the spell was quite weak anyway… oops. You're going to catch me now aren't you?

Hunter: (tackling him to the ground) you're going to jail!

Scene changes to Cal behind some bars,

Cal: and I would have gotten away with it too if it wasn't for those pesky kids!

Camera zooms out and we see he is actually crouching down near a fence and hunter is sitting "guarding" him but really reading a newspaper,

Hunter: well, its not really illegal to make people dance, apparently

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A/N yes I know crap this one, but review anyway if you do want me to update, I will for you nice people hehe 


	4. disclaimer

Hey I have just noticed that people have put disclaimers on their stories, did not know I had to do this! So sorry, this is for both my sweep stories:

I do not own any of ms tiernan's great characters, or any of her storylines, but my characters (for instance Keaira) and storylines that I have added, are mine so please don't steal them coz then I'd be upset!

Please review all my other stories and chapters! Love you all!


	5. episode 4

A/N hello long time no write, sorry! I haven't had any funny ideas lately, don't know why, but I shall try for you all now, thanks for the reviews!

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Setting: a farmyard, the gang is on work experience

* * *

Alisa: (while feeding a horse some hay) wow this is so nice, it's sunny and we get to have some fun on a farm! (The horse suddenly bites off the top of her finger. Ales starts screaming, there is blood pouring everywhere)

Bree: but wait, a finger wouldn't produce that much blood!

Morgan: shut up Bree, can't you see Alisa is in a lot of pain?

Alisa: (getting up from the ground and laughing) fooled you all he didn't bite me, it was a spell!

Bree: I told you!

All: shut up Bree!

Morgan: hunter, you wanna dance? (They get up on some bales of hay that has magically turned into a stage with spotlights and start doing the tango.)

Alisa: I think you're meant to use a rose, not a carrot!

(They start dancing close together, like a scene from dirty dancing. Then Morgan tries to jump into hunter's arms but he falls over backwards into the pigpen.)

Robbie: hey Morgan you ok? (He goes to help her, meanwhile hunter is running around screaming and being chased by pigs.)

Morgan: I'm fine, yeah I just hope cal isn't around, (they stand waiting for a while, Bree gets out some make-up, and hunter still runs around in the background)

Robbie: (shouting) she said she hopes cal isn't around! (They stand tapping there foots, I mean feet obviously, ahem back to the scene people!)

Morgan: hey, he's meant to come in now, and be all evil and erm stuff. You know, he's mean.

Sky: (wearing a loose pair of dungarees and a straw hat and chewing a blade of grass, and speaking in a strange American type accent) well I'll be danged he ain't turned up for work. I'll have to feed him to Betsy, the prize-winning bull,

Cal: (jumping out from a puddle,) aha, hear I am sorry guys I tunnelled the wrong way, so what did I miss?

All: YOU'RE CUE!

Bree: that should be your cue, not you're cue, because that would mean he is a cue.

Alisa: shut up Bree.

(Meanwhile hunter has still been running away from the pigs and screaming,)

Robbie: well now where's hunter? We need him for this bit, because…

Sky: (still in accent) Robbie-bob, don't go giving the plot away,

Robbie-Bob: I didn't know I'd had my name changed, cool

Cal: no one's paying attention to me, (he goes and sulks) I'm not going to tell you my evil plan now!

Morgan: aw go on, please!

Cal: all right then it was, erm it was too… I can't remember, oh wait it was… to… ah yes kidnap Bree. (He puts a sack over her head and carries her off, hunter meanwhile bursts out of the pig pen and intercepts them, a crowd of pigs, smoking cigars coming running after him and he runs into the sunset.)

Robbie-bob: Bree, are you ok? (He takes the sack off and sees cal in it,)

All: gasp

Bree: (leaning against a fence and applying more make-up,) you didn't think I'd let that imbecile kidnap me, did you?

(The group laughs and walks into the farmhouse, patting each other on the back for what a good rescue they had done,)

Bree: that wasn't even funny, why is everyone laughing?

Morgan: it's a hint to the audience, so they know that this is meant to be funny,

Robbie-Bob: so where did Hunter go?

All: where did hunter go?

(They all sit around a homely kitchen table and stroke their chins, where their beards would be if they were wise professors.)

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A/N well I hope that will satisfy you, I'm sorry there had been such a huge gap, but I really couldn't think of anything, and this is probably still a load of nonsense, so you know, anyway review, hope you liked it! 


	6. author's note

A/N I know these aren't allowed, but this is just to tell you that I have changed my Pen name to Moonlight Enchantments,

Bye! Thanks for reading my stories


	7. episode 4 part 2

A/N Hey, this story has been sitting here for ages with no updates, because, well because, I don't know why actually, but I shall update now for you lovely people and your lovely reviews! (I just love getting reviews, hint hint) oh and by the way, I think I may have had another chapter on my old computer, but that died (I'm still in mourning) so all the chapters on there disappeared forever, (except the ones I uploaded) so this is totally new, but I also have to remember to say, oh well if they take my script form story off, because I can't write funny without it in script form!

Ok that was a long A/N so on with the story and my craziness...

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Scene: the gang (minus Hunter) is in Practical Magick, but they are all around 10 years older, they are still stroking their chins, where the guys now have beards and the girls don't, (at least I kind of hope they don't!)

Alisa: I do wonder where Hunter is,

Author: Wait, it's been ten years and you still haven't found Hunter?

Morgan: Author... that's a funny name, wait, your THE Author? Oh wow!

Author: Well yes... and I'm not meant to be here, but I'm just trying to explain to lovely people reading that you haven't seen Hunter since the last scene, ok?

Morgan: Oh I see, well no, but we haven't really been looking, we just started this beard stoking thing when you came, so it would look as if we really cared about Hunter, you see? Oh where's she gone?

Alisa: Morgan! You gave the game away! (she hits Morgan over the head with a candle,)

Bree: But seriously, don't you think we should try and find Hunter, he may have been captured by the council by now, or even eaten by those strange cigar smoking pigs!

All laugh at the thought of Hunter being chased by the pigs,

Bree: I don't think its funny, but I do have an idea!

All: Shut-up Bree!

Alisa: I have an idea!

All (except Bree): Go on oh wise Alisa

Alisa: Well, lets do a spell, and go back in time, to find Hunter!

All: Great idea!

Bree: (muttering) damn that girl, that was my idea, you know I'm sure that she...

Robbie: (interrupting her) stop muttering now Bree, it makes you look ugly,

Mary. K: Lets make a parallelogram!

Morgan: yes lets, but that's really hard to say (Author: and spell) can't we just make a rectangle?

All: Yes! Come on, lets make a rectangle! (They all arrange themselves, miraculously avoiding all the shelves, and the customers, and anything else you may find in Practical Magick,)

All: (chanting) Dumb-dee-doo, Doo-Dumb-Dee, let us go back in time to retrieve our Hunter, Dee-Dumb-Doo, Dee-Doo-Dumb! So mote it be!

The screen goes wiggly and there is sounds of choirs singing ah, and oh,

Author: Wait, let me just adjust the contrast, here we are

The scene opens again in a pasture of a farm, the gang are now back to their old ages,

Bree: Oh I'm young again! Lets do this more often!

They all look at her, slightly shocked, as she is living up to her usual stereotype of being the Pretty but dumb one,

Bree: What? I'm sick of trying to get you to notice me for my brains, I may as well use my looks instead

Robbie: (beaming) That's my girl,

Sky: Can we remember my cousin? And the reason we are here?

Morgan: (Muttering) don't remember you saying much in the last ten years

Sky: Zip it Morgan!

Morgan: (with a major close up, throws her arms to the sky and screams) Why, Hunter, why did you leave me, please come back to me!

Hunter: Hey guys! (he begins to make-out with Morgan)

All: (looking shocked and gasping) Hunter? That can't be you?

Hunter: (pulls of a mask and reveals himself to be Cal) No it is not hunter, you saw through me, damn it! My evil scheme's have been foiled again! Nooooooooo (etc.)

Morgan: Wow, he's a much better kisser than before, maybe we should just pretend we never noticed?

Mary.K: MORGAN how could you say such a thing! What about your muirn beatha dan?

Morgan: Well, you know, he's not here is he?

Suddenly Hunter runs past screaming: The pigs, the pigs, they won't leave me alone!

A group of pigs (this time with bowler hats, and without the cigars,) arrive, and stand with the group, while Hunter catches his breath,

Head Pig: Hello chaps, how are you all? (he is speaking with a very posh English accent, and sounds stupid, A/N I'm allowed to say this as I am English so there! sticks tongue out )

Alisa: We're fine thanks, but can we have our friend back?

Head Pig: No, I'm sorry to be so frightfully rude, but we do love to chase this strange creature,

Bree: Perhaps we could make a...

Alisa: (Interrupting her) Perhaps we could make a swap? Him for Cal,

Bree: Damn it! I knew she was stealing my ideas! Argh! (with this strange shout she jumps on Alisa, most of the gang, and other people who suddenly materialise, circle them and start to chant, "fight fight fight")

Morgan: (while the fight is still going on in the background) Oh who am I to choose, Hunter is my muirn beatha dan, but Cal is such good kisser, but he _is_ evil... (she stares off into the distance as if thinking)

Mary.k: (breaking off from the fight) Look Morgan, stop pretending to be clever ok? And its not your choice we're giving Cal to the pigs,

Cal: Noooooooo

Hunter: Mwahaha... (evil laugh)

Mary.k: Mr Pig, do we have a deal? The blonde for the dark one?

Head Pig: Well, I suppose so, goodbye old chap, (he nods to Hunter) Are you ready new chap?

Cal: I suppose so, farewell, and I'll see you in the next episode! (he runs off into the sunset, being chased by the pigs)

Hunter: The gangs together again! (Everyone ignores him and goes to join in the chanting and watch the fight,)

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A/N well I hope you liked this second part of the episode, if you did, I shall carry on! So you know review! 


	8. yet another author note

Hello all my faithful readers! This is a note for all my stories, so introduce yourselves, yes, anyhoo! The point is I won't be updating for a while as I am off on holiday, but I shall update when I return, this is also why I wont review all your lovely stories for a while, sorry my dears but hey that's life!

I will see you in two weeks!


	9. Episode 5

A/N Hey! I know it's been a while, but thank you to my readers and my reviewers. This chapter is dedicated to birthday girl Sonia! I am so sorry I didn't get you a present, here is half, and the other bit will come soon, promise! This chapter is from a grovelling friend, hope you like it baby!

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Scene: The Gang are hanging around at Bree's house, basically in a lounge area!

Bree: (sighing) Wow, I'm super bored,

Robbie: Me too... Wanna make out?

Bree: Whatever, (They began to make out, as the rest of the group make gagging noises)

Alissa: That is so totally immature...

All: What? You said totally?

Alissa: I'm bored of being the clever one, I want to laze around and say totally and like and dude!

Hunter: (shrugs) Ok dude,

Morgan: Hunter... I feel evil, can you load me with compliments so I feel better?

Hunter: (kneels in front of her) Oh Morgan, you are so beautiful, I love you so much...

Mary. K: Shut Up!

Sonia: (Walking in) Yeah, stop inflating her ego! (A/N ok, I am including my lovely friend in the story, **grovel grovel grovel**)

Bree: (looking up) Wow, cool badge, is it your birthday?

Sonia: (nods) Any one wanna... (She takes a dramatic pause, and holds her fists up in wrestling stance,) FIGHT ME!

Robbie: (tilts his head,) What a strange question... but ok then! (He gets up and they begin to wrestle, Robbie is getting badly beat when Cal walks in)

Cal: Mwahahahahaha, I'm back for another evil scheme and this time I shall... (he trails off, as he sees Sonia, **a/n prepare for a little more grovelling) **Wow, who is that beautiful girl... she is so amasingly brilliant at wrestling...

Morgan: Hey, you like me! (She waves her hand in front of his glazed eyes)

Sonia: (Standing with one foot on the unconscious Robbie) Don't worry Morgan, I know Cal's an evil lout, he's not really my type! (She goes all... witchy and puts a spell on Cal, zapping him outta there,) There's your problem sorted,

All: (Bar Morgan) Wow!

Hunter: That was amazing (he is wearing the same glazed expression now)

Sonia: Great, not again!

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A/N OK, so this chapter was pretty... daft and grovelly, but I have no ideas! Sorry! More soon! 


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